My grandparents are coming over tonight because they are going overseas in a few days and want to see us before they go.
Sorry Maddie for not being able to take you, Peter and Annie.
So...yeah...it's weird...im listening to music by Matchbox 20...that's not normal for me...oh well. I'm really bored. Well I'm not actually bored I dont know what I am. I'm kinda sad though I have no idea why. It's weird because it isn't really sad...I'm confused. Oh well...I like that quote: "I will die for you, but I will never live for you," or it goes something along those lines anyway. Anyway that quote is so true. I'm pretty sure I might die for some people, but I'd never live for anyone, or let them live through me. Why am I writing this? I want a definition of love. Yes this is a random post with random comments here and there. I want a definition of love. People think that they are in love, and then people say no that's impossible you're only 16. But it's really possible. My grandparents met when they were 15 and 16 and they are still married. I think my mum was 15 when she met my dad. So yeah...there really is no reason for me writing this, it's not like I think I'm in love or anything. It's just completely random. Anyway Stacey's party was actually good. I really enjoyed it. Yeah I really am being random. Nah it was good Staceys aunty who is like...31 was so cool. She was fully into the party and she was letting Henry smoke weed and people drink and stuff even though it was supposedly 'no alcohol'. Oh Zoe I just realised I never told you what I couldn't tell you in music. I'll tell you later.
I have to go
BYe
Current Mood:indescribable Current Music:Some music...Push by Matchbox 20
so was ur appointment good? wow chris just broke up with emy for the 4th time... i wonder whether it will last this time...probably not. Well there is a slight possibility that it will this time because they havent spoken for a week. But anyway this is completely irrelevant. So Maddie...was ur appointment good or bad? did they have much to say or is the first one more like getting to know and trust the person and crap like that? not that i would know much about "appointments". lol it sounds like your paying someone for "some form of activity". You get my drift. YAY zoe's back. And me and nick and sawan caught up with her today which was good. Oh anyway you know how what Chris said about him "loving me" well I think he was just drunk, high or both. Which is good. Well at least I did think that until just now. See our conversation went fairly normally with only one reference of an emoticon. Until of course he said that he had to go and I said okay bye. And then he said bye, luv ya (which was with a love heart) then he had a little moving emoticon sending out heart kisses and then wrote MWA. This is bad...unless he's high again...but i dont think he is this time. He seems fairly normal. But just say that this all really is because of weed. *hint hint maddie...the plan...i think you should scrap it and stick with legal stuff* that really wasnt too subtle was it...i was trying to make it so no-one else would understand...ah well.
Anyway I'm gonna go now and see Maddie.Look at all my entries. I can't do deep and meaningful getting into my brain comments because i just can't. I can talk about it when its still annoying me. I'll just log on here next time as soon as i start getting annoyed or just really emotional about anything.
That poem...was so sad...stupid crying in English. Okay maybe i wont get off yet because otherwise my parents wil ask why im crying again which is because i thought about the poem again and ive read it so many times i just remember it.
Anyway yeah so i guess you know why im frustrated obviously because of Chris..and ahhhh...
its even to hard for me to talk to myself about it let alone write it down.
Oh wait he just came back.Let's see if he has anything to say...
hmm...so far its just hi. Oh well I'll keep you updated if anything interesting is said Maddie.
but like ahhh its so hard because yes i do really really really like him but only as a friend. And the weirder thing is that i kinda miss him and i really would like to catch up with him and I know you think its crazy and i know it is too but its the truth. And yes you probably also think it sounds like i have a crush on him but i dont...everyone ive tried to talk to about thing has said "do you like him?" and im like NOOO! its kinda hard to explain. Like i really really do like him and not talking to him is just too hard for me cos when hes not drunk or high hes really good to talk to. Not that your not but its in a different kind of way. It's also good cos he goes to another school so its a different kind of friendship cos we dont see each other every day. I guess its more like we actually have to try to keep the friendship going. Whereas if you see someone every day then like...you don't. I can't explain what im trying to and its making me frustrated!
lots of frustrated smiley faces. Wait no their not smiling.
I think i might go now because as soon as I start copying and pasting stuff i know im gonna start rambling more than usual.
Actually first you can have an update on the first week of me having an lj:
Well the first week was certainly an interesting one. To start with Zoe and Maddy weren't there all week. I guess yes i did miss them but in a way it was kind of good aswell. Like im not saying that i want to do it again but it was really good and i spent more time with different people like i got to know Danny more and Andy and Kyle and spent more time with Nick. (dont say anything to that last one Maddie). well of course i spent more time with you aswell, and Flick for that matter. See i never really knew Flick before but she's really really nice, and she was missing Zoe too.
So apart from Maddy and Zoe not being here I guess I learnt more about some people to. I think I learnt more about Chris and that well..he's just really different to how i thought he was. Not in a good or a bad way. Actually I'd say in more of a good way I've seen a different side of him I guess.
This week I've been worried about people like Chris and hoping he would finally dump his girlfriend for good (not because i want to go out with him or anything) but because he's been hell moody and sad every time he even mentions her and now I'm hoping he will go back to being himself again and being happy. Oh and also hopefully he'll smoke less weed now. Oh btw yes he has officially dumped her properly and for good. She wanted to get back together again and he said no and he admitted that yes he was more moody and stuff when he was going out with her.
What else has happened this week? I think that might be all.
So yeah sorry for the really long post Maddie. I use alot of your time:P
Current Mood: frustrated Current Music:Sunday Bloody Sunday-Smashing Pumpkins
yyyyyyyaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!!!! YAY I FEEL LOVED AND SPECIAL!!! WOW do you know how good the feeling is when you;ve been arguying with someone for ages and then you are talking but your still annoyed at each other...and then everything just comes together and your really good friends again and you both tell each other how much you really love them and appreciate them. I know this sounds corny but it feels so good!!! It's like a natural high but times 100 million!! i just had to write this down before i forgot what it felt like. lol...wtf...i just got called amy pie...okay now im confused. Its almost as weird as being called Amybel. so anyway yeah maddie i still havent started my homework. i guess this is my first entry where you've seen a little of my thoughts...or should i say past the crap then this is where you get to what im really thinking... i think we have only jsut penetrated the surface though... maddie you should be my free psych! cos im not paying you!:P
Current Mood: loved Current Music:Strange Little Girl- Tori Amos
hi maddie hi maddie you told me to write soemthing so i am im just seeing where this wil take me to i miss zoe and maddy!!!! stupid maddy being in the snow and zoe on work experience...hey supposedly she (hang on im not meant ot tell you this) anyway supposedly (this is form flick who is a very un reliable source) so anyway! supposedly she has kinda met this guy...but hes not hot...and you are not allowed to say anything!!otherwise me and flick will both die! he this song is funny...it says "learn how to smoke...if your underage get someone older to buy them for you, get to know your parents, their good for money, travel alot live in new york city once, live in northern california once, never live in adelaide...its a hole" hehe i found it funny "if you nervoud about your exams, ring up your school and make a bomb threat" "shop life as often as you can" i should be doing my homework... this is a very itneresting song... today was so bad. It went forever especially the lessons after lunch. I don't get it! Why do we have to pay to go and do work everyday? Why do we pay to hey! "smoke in your school uniform, plant drugs on a teacher, walk around with your eyelids rolled back, touch your tongue on the tip of batteries" you know...i cuold just keep rambling forever... time to listen to a different song...wat is it now? it is The Killer in Me by Smashing Pumpkins I love this song You know i think i might buy the perks of being a wallflower...even if it is expensicve...or maybe ill get it for christmas.. cos seriously its really good and i love it!!! i miss zoe:(:( flick talked to her on the phone for an hour last night...ill probably do that tonight im so confused...i dont even know why. I think i think too much. Yes even by saying that i am. Oh well im gonna go now... and no im not telling you why im confused....
Current Mood: confused Current Music:Not the Sunscreen Song-John Safron
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little_sad_face's journal
frustrated
still...
confused